The Pig Says Ip.

Potty Training

2009-06-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

Not as easy as one would think.

Last night, Lily and I went out and purchased her some big girl panties, a miniature toilet seat, some pull-ups...girl won't keep her diaper on any more and everyone tells me that's the sure-fire sign I need as proof she's ready to use the potty.

Lily ran around the house after we got home in a t-shirt and her new underwear proudly announcing "Lily panties!" over and over again. More accurately, it sounds like "Lily peenies!" but whatever. I'll take it. I know what she's trying to say. We also watched an Elmo DVD about using the potty. Thanks to that gem of a program, she then switched gears and began blurting out, "Pee-pee! Poo poo! Pee-pee!"

Oh yeah, this is going to be a fun time.

Nakee!

2009-06-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

My kid is suddenly obsessed with being in the buff all the time. If she actually remembers she has a diaper on, she immediately pries it off. Nightie? No thanks. She'd rather just chill and watch The Wiggles while she's naked, or in Lily's case - Nakee.

Note: This is not to be confused with Noodee, which suggests she wants mac and cheese, or anything involving noodles.

In other news, Lily showed Brian today that she has learned how to switch out DVDs in the player. Guh. I can't keep up with a toddler.

Write today down.

2009-06-14T21:14:00.000-07:00

This evening, mere moments ago, Lily let me know that she had to tinkle. We scampered into the bathroom and tinkle she did. Right in her potty. First time ever.

I am so proud of her I can't begin to tell you. Yay Lily!

2009-06-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

Quick and dirty. Almost forgot to post. Massive thunderstorms this evening. Lily watched So You Think You Can Dance with me and fed me red beans and rice.

She finds it way too funny when I injure myself or am startled. We went on an errand this evening and a moth freaked me out and she laughed herself silly for about two minutes.

Tripping? Also hysterical.

Good news: She's not afraid of thunderstorms. She just can't sleep through them. Sad for me.

I'm tired. She is not. Welcome to the story of my life. Argh.

GONE.

2009-06-10T14:12:00.000-07:00

In the past 48 hours, Lily has suddenly figured out that "All gone!" is not a phrase that is limited to whether or not she is finished with her meal. She now comprehends that the word 'gone' can also mean that something has disappeared. This is a grave discovery.

Last night, we went thrift store shopping and wound up with a new stuffed animal - a giant pig (my kid has a thing for pigs and ducks - just run with it). Anyway, she has some jammies with pigs on them as well, and I thought she'd get a kick out of wearing them while snuggling her new toy. Well, due to our rather haphazard method of doing laundry, I managed to find the top, but not the bottoms.

I asked Lily to help me find her pants. We wandered around our house for a couple minutes with Lily repeating, "Where aaaaaaaaare you?" over and over. After about five minutes, she stopped in her tracks, turned to me, held her hands out in front of her, widened her eyes, and said in her most serious voice, "GONE."

I snickered and looked at her. "No, Lily, they're not gone. They're just hiding. We'll find them."

"GONE."

She was just so serious. Brian said she continued using the word today. If she turned around and couldn't find a toy, she'd immediately turn to Brian.

"GONE."

To counter this, Lily also learned another word, as we discovered early this morning. She opted to wake us up at 4:30 today and farted. Loudly. She then looked directly at me, giggled, and said, "Toot." My grandfather would be proud. Fart humor is a mainstay in my family, and evidently the tradition lives on.

2009-06-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

Either my kid is going to need to start coming to work with me or my husband is going to need to start sharing a lot more daytime stories during the week, because I'm running low on my Lily news.

Evidently she's in better spirits today (woo!). Tonight, I hope to further lift her spirits by offering her couscous again, since it was such a hit before. Tonight is a class at her kids' gym, but honestly, trying to get there the moment I get home for an extra hour of playtime is exhausting. I don't have a chance to eat, to change clothes, nothing. So, I'll make due with extra frolicking in the house.

I'll tell you a joke that I find ridiculously funny and Lily seems to appreciate as well. I heard it Sunday on Prairie Home Companion, so give credit where it's due:

Q: What do you call a fish that's missing an eye?
A: A F-SH! Fsssssssssh! <-- that noise is funny. Ask my kid.

Saran Wrap ain't got nothin' on my kid.

2009-06-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

CLINGY! SO CLINGY!

She's going through a rough patch, it appears. At least, I hope it's a rough patch. Please don't say this is the onset of the rumored Terrible Twos. I just need it to last a few days and then watch with glee as my cherubic little happy baby returns.

OK, she's upstairs laughing. Brian allowed me a respite and offered to bathe her. It's almost soothing enough for me not to notice the incessant drum playing coming through the walls from our neighbor's condo.

Ahhhh.

It's really cold outside. I want to curl up in bed and read.

And yes, I would like some cheese with my whine. Is it Friday yet? Sheesh.

2009-06-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

Today, we went to some fairs downtown and had a really nice time. Lily actually acquiesced and allowed us to push her around in the stroller for the duration, and only melted down (minimally) when we were on the free 16th Street Mall shuttle - too many people, I'm guessing.

After the nap, Brian set to making her lunch and might have turned on the wrong burner to boil water. In so doing, he might have set a rubber cheese grater on fire. The house might still smell like burnt rubber five hours later. Stink-o.

Not surprisingly, we went out for dinner. Lily insisted on bringing Beaker and Animal with her. She has become Beaker's biggest fan. While at Target, though, she was willing to discard Beaker in order to play with a pinwheel. Have you ever gotten to watch someone discover a pinwheel before? Very cool experience - I'd highly recommend it. Sure, I felt light-headed after blowing into it and making it spin for the millionth time this evening, but it was worth it.

It's time for me to hit the sack. How did Monday sneak up so quickly?

2009-06-06T21:03:00.001-07:00

How is it that a kid under the age of two can function on less sleep than an adult? She's an anomaly, I swear. Today had been packed with activities. We went to the zoo this morning and got to see some very active brown bears. After zipping around the zoo for two hours, we came back home and Lily opted to nap for all of 30 minutes prior to waking up. At that point, we had some lunch while videoconferencing with my family (Lily refers to her cousin Olivia as "Leebo") and then attempted to do some Father's Day shopping. No luck. However! Somehow, Lily wound up with a new nightie. Afterward, we went to Katie and John's house and ran around outside, played with the dog, and broke in their new smoker. If you haven't tried a smoked tomato before, I'd highly recommend attempting one the next time you have a chance. Lily messed up some couscous and then we headed back home for bath time and stories. New words today have included "turkey," "couscous," and the phrase "new nightie." Couscous comes out as "coocoo!" but hey, it works. She's now dancing along with Zoe and Paula on television and eating a popsicle. She clearly ascribes to the idea that sleep is for the weak. Feel free to feel sorry for me.

Resilience.

2009-06-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

She was sick as a dog yesterday. Today? She's fine. I'll take it.

Lately, I have been allowing Lily to select what we listen to in the car. I scan through the stations, and when it lands on something she likes, she nods her head and be-bops around in her car seat, signifying that we have a winner. This afternoon she opted for Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Hmm. Yeah. I'm not too sure either.

Tonight we hung out with our neighbors for a while and Lily was kind enough to let me watch a movie, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Whenever Brian works and I know I have a night at home that doesn't involve anything special, I rent a chick flick. It's true, I do it. Some more heinous than others (Private Valentine starring Jessica Simpson, anyone?), but some pretty good. Lily spent a good majority of my movie watching time tonight putting all of her markers in a bucket and then turning it over and squealing when they all fell out.

I really need to relearn the art of being easily amused like that.

This weekend, I think we're going to be going to a street fair and potentially hitting the zoo, weather permitting. I swear, becoming members of the zoo was one of the smartest things we've done.

And now, it's time for me to climb onto the couch with Lily and her duck to watch Zoe dance around with Paula Abdul on Sesame Street.

Behold the power of Motrin!

2009-06-04T14:11:00.000-07:00

Huh. No ear infection. Bad sore throat, but we're not sure if that's from crying or what. Could be teething. Temp's gone down, Lily's much happier now.

Hello, I am a control freak. One way or another, I need to learn to let go and just let life happen.

The not so great part of being a working parent.

2009-06-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

Just called home over my lunch break and heard the heart wrenching sobs of my daughter over the phone. Brian said she just started wailing and wouldn't calm down. Turns out she has a 102.9 degree fever. This probably means there's an ear infection. Nothing sucks quite as badly as knowing your child is in pain and not being able to be there for them. Sure, I know Brian has it under control and Lily will be seeing the doctor in less than an hour, but I want to be there. I want to hold her and kiss her little head and reassure her that everything will be OK.

I'm afraid my afternoon is going to move very, very slowly.

2009-06-03T20:09:00.000-07:00

My daughter evidently is a fan of popcorn. And tonight I got to hear her say "chocolate" for the first time. And she digs horchata. And has just presented me with a skillet.

Today has been crazy. Unfortunately, beyond the above, I can't really come up with anything cohesive to tell you about my awesome daughter.

We're off to read books now. If something wildly entertaining between now and bedtime in the life of Lily, I'll be sure to let you know.

That's the only thing I need.

2009-06-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. -Navin R. Johnson, The Jerk

Yesterday, Lily refused to leave the house without Beaker the Muppet, her yellow bouncy ball, and ... a squash. You know, the vegetable. While in her carseat, she managed to perch Beaker atop the ball and then proceed to "feed" him the squash. While counting aloud. Later, once we had exited the car, Beaker and the ball were discarded and the squash became a weapon to bonk people on the head. Fun stuff.

When I was little, my parents dubbed me 'Gretel' because of my habit of leaving a trail of toys in my wake, and it appears my daughter might have picked up this particular trait. I am so proud...not to mention a wee bit frightened for what lies ahead.

And yes, thanks for asking, there is a squash lying in the backseat of my car today.

And a ball.

And a Beaker.

No means no, unless you're two.

2009-06-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

We have recently stumbled across a new challenge in raising our daughter - she has no concept of discipline. She doesn't grasp anger. She laughs if we get upset with her.

Uh.

This weekend was a challenge (read: I love wine). Not only did she learn that by climbing onto the back of the couch, she could lean over the counter into the kitchen and turn the faucet in the sink on and off and on and off, etc., but she also decided that it's now super fun to chew food up and then spit it back out. And I don't mean the open mouth and allow food to fall out maneuver, I mean actually SPIT it out. We were at dinner last night with some friends, and I was engaged in conversation with someone across the table from me. While I was listening intently, hunks of chewed up tortilla chip flew through the air from the direction of my child's mouth and actually hit me in the face.

Oh yeah. So awesome. Nothing adds to a conversation quite like projectile chip spit.

There are other issues associated with Lily's inability to understand when we want her to stop doing something, too. For instance, whenever we walk out of the house to go anywhere, she immediately assumes that a game of tag is immediately necessary. She never walks directly to the car. There is a chase involved every time. Her joy is really endearing, but having to chase darling daughter all over the place relentlessly gets a wee bit old.

And bedtime! Oh God, please don't get me started on bedtime. Once asleep, she is angelic. However, the process of getting her to sleep is a PAIN. She does not know how to lie down and go to sleep. She can be lulled to sleep, but she cannot initiate the process herself. We are wearing ourselves thin reading books on this topic, trust me.

This has become a big whinefest. Argh. Essentially, we have reached our next stage of parenting - how to be the voice of authority. Wish us luck.

Because I said so, that's why.

2009-05-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Lately, I've been taking a lot of first steps. I've reached a point in my life where each moment matters, and I'd prefer not to spend them waffling (mmm, waffles) over whether I should or shouldn't do or try whatever.

Answer? I should. I should start a journal today. Annnnnnnnnd done.

This journal is going to be used as a catch-all for stories about my toddler, Lily. In her world, the pig says ip. In my world, that's pretty awesome.